Life in the Shadow of Lost Memories: A Struggle for Dignity and Harmony in the Face of Dementia

Dementia is a challenging and painful experience both for the person afflicted and their loved ones. It involves the gradual weakening of cognitive abilities, leading to the loss of memories, thinking, and understanding. This condition often affects a person’s daily functioning, making routine tasks difficult. For many, the most daunting moment is when a loved one no longer recognizes them. As a psychologist, I now assist families caring for those battling dementia. However, a few years ago, I worked as a community nurse, caring for these individuals and witnessing the helplessness of families, hence my understanding from both perspectives. It was hard to watch a daughter caring for her mother who often didn’t recognize her, misinterpreting her loving actions as harmful, while newly acquainted caregivers were seen as the best in the world. Another instance involves Anna, who had to confront the reality of living with dementia. Anna decided to go for a walk around her neighbourhood, something she always enjoyed. However, this time she got lost on her own street and couldn’t find her way back home. Confused, she sat on a bench, hoping someone would help. A passerby noticed her distress and called her daughter, whose number Anna carried on a note in her purse. Learning to accept help from others and cherishing moments with loved ones became essential for her. Dementia brings feelings of helplessness and sadness but also serves as a reminder of the importance of support and understanding. It is crucial to provide families with empathy and acknowledge their perspective. Caring for someone with dementia is an emotional challenge that can lead to physical and emotional exhaustion for caregivers. These caregivers need support as they constantly balance the needs of their loved ones with their own lives. Understanding from others helps them feel less alone in this difficult task. Knowing they have someone to turn to for advice or simply to vent gives them strength and motivation to continue. A simple gesture of empathy and understanding can bring relief and remind them that their efforts are appreciated. Caregivers need space for their own needs and the right to rest, which allows them to maintain mental balance. Each moment of respite is a step forward in the long journey filled with challenges. By supporting caregivers, we provide them with tools for better care of their loved ones while enabling them to find their own inner peace.